Life can sometimes be a fast paced affair and we rely on our experiences to help us make quick decisions when needed in order to stay on top of our responsibilities and successfully juggle all the balls of life we have in our possession. But even though this quick thinking can get us through these immediate situations, on reflection have we made some sacrifices in the longer term?
This takes me back to a common phrase I heard growing up that never really made sense to me at the time, “More haste, less speed”. I still feel that this isn’t completely clear but I understand the meaning behind it and it certainly applies to how I’ve lived my life for many years now (mostly) and also how I work with my clients.
As I have mentioned in previous articles we build up default reactions and perspectives as we go through life that we feel we can rely on when we deal with similar situations in the future. That all seems very efficient, well done brain, but do we ever review those as we go through life and gain new information that might be in conflict with what we do automatically?
This is where slowing down our thought processes at the time can be hugely beneficial. When I work with clients I can identify when they have said two conflicting statements so automatically that they don’t notice it themselves, so I make a note of it and then challenge them on this conflict so they’re able to take some time really considering what they truly believe now, rather than continuing with competing outlooks that are keeping them locked in limbo and not able to move forward or resolve certain situations.
In order to do this yourself requires time spent on self reflection, really thinking about those in built conflicts and picking them apart to rebuild a new belief. Although it’s not always as easy as that, particularly on your first attempt. It takes practise to be able to recognise those default beliefs then figure out what to do with it.
I have found that it’s easier to do this when the subconscious mind is distracted with another activity that frees up the conscious mind. For me this is mainly when I’m driving, I don’t listen to the radio, an audiobook or other audio during this time so the external silence allows me to concentrate on the thinking process. For you it might be different, like doing various repetitive household chores or maybe some form of exercise life jogging or cycling.
If you’d like some help in dealing with these inner conflicts that could be holding you back, then you can sign up for a free discovery session with me over video chat by clicking here.